Taking Up Space: Advocating for my Right to Space as a Disabled Person with Cerebral Palsy
Written by Rachel Adams-Duffy, an advocacy advisor for the ICI.
For as long as I can remember, I have had this strange feeling about being physically disabled. This feeling happens often, but especially when I use my wheelchair. There are many people who feel bad for me because I am physically disabled and move differently. I have lived with cerebral palsy my whole life. I also use a wheelchair. Every now and then, both of those things make me feel like I am “in the way...” in public places, in conversations, and in people’s comfort zones. I used to think that if I could just stay out of the way, things would be so much easier for me and for others.
Slowly but surely, I have started to realize how untrue that is. Yes, I am physically disabled, and I move differently, but that does not mean I am not allowed to take up space. When I use my wheelchair, I am reminded of my complexly problematic environment. There are so many places that aren’t accessible to me. For example: tight hallways, stairs with no ramps, unpaved pathways, and narrow doorways. It is exhausting, physically and emotionally.
But the truth is: I am allowed to take up space.
For a while, I would apologize constantly: for taking too long, for needing more space, for asking people to move chairs or rearrange a table, for simply existing in a world that has not been able to accommodate me unless there’s increasingly adamant advocacy. Unless I continue to speak up.
I shouldn’t be apologizing for simply needing access. I shouldn’t feel guilty about using a mobility device that offers me freedom and independence. My wheelchair and physical disability are not something that I should hide because they are part of who I am.
And yes, there are still days when I feel like shrinking. There are times when the stares wear me down. In those times, I remind myself: I do not have to earn my space. I am not “inspirational” just for existing in public where I need a ramp, a wider aisle, or a little more time. Taking up space means sitting tall in my wheelchair, literally and figuratively. It means letting people see me for who I am. My wheelchair gives me freedom. It is how I show up in the world, and I have learned not to downplay or hide it. I have found that I can take up space with pride and confidence and not feel bad about it for a second.
As a young disabled person, I will continue to take up space when I roll into a room. I will take up space when I need access. I will take up space where I can speak my truth without apologizing. As a young disabled person, I belong here. Every single part of me.